Man Skills: 9 Ways to Elevate Your Manliness

Man Skills:

You are a man. Maybe not much of one yet, but a man.

A man needs to have skills:

Deadlift

If you want to be considered a man, you must pull at least 2x your bodyweight in the deadlift. If you want to be a strong man, 3x your bodyweight. This is non-negotiable and I think I am being pretty generous in allowing anyone pulling only twice their bodyweight to be considered a man. Start picking up heavy things off the floor. This alone will elevate manliness by at least 40%.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxOZD8gEfkM&w=560&h=315]

Negotiate a deal

Whether you are talking down the guy selling the pair Hulk Hands on craigslist or buying a car, a man gets a good deal. Negotiating a good deal comes from being well informed and knowing how to talk to people. Men don’t overpay for things.

Change a tire

During snowboard season we got stuck on the mountain with a flat tire. So as the SUV full of girls I was with recommended we call AAA and wait for 6 hours, I went to work and changed the tire in about 20 minutes—in the snow, like a man. Then it was “Dear Penthouse forum” from there on out…

Dominate in the kitchen (and the grill)

If you want to eat like a man, you need to know how to cook. It’s not only an essential skill for feeding yourself, but also for winning major points with the fairer sex. Know how to clean a fish and a chicken. Know how to make a few legit dinner dishes that involve more than boiling water. Know how to make some killer waffles for Sunday morning. For God’s sake know your way around the grill and throw down some rare steak or your man card will be immediately revoked.

Fix your house

You don’t need to become a general contractor, but you need to be at least low-level handyman. Minor plumbing, electrical, drywall patches, building stuff inside and out should be within your abilities. Building things: manly. Power tools: also manly. I suggest you utilize both to elevate your manliness.

Manage your money

Men don’t borrow money. Men don’t have credit card debt. Men don’t spend money they don’t have. Men do it the old fashioned way. Work hard, make a living, save enough so you don’t put yourself in a jam. Pick up the tab for friends as your budget allows; pay it forward.

Fight

A man can take care of himself. A man can also protect a lovely lady, should the situation demand it. Bad things happen all the time. I personally was in a life and death situation where I came out of it on top. That night could have just as easily been my last—and I did nothing wrong to provoke the attack. Knowing how to handle yourself in a fight lets you walk through life differently than if you don’t. No man should live in fear. Martial arts, boxing—find something that you enjoy and become competent. Also don’t forget to deadlift so you can be strong enough to really throw down.

Sprint

If you can’t fight, you better be able to run. Sprinting makes you better at sports, leaner, and will make girls like you. Sprinting can also be a valuable skill. Exhibit A: I was at the beach swimming and as I came back to shore I saw this guy leaning over my towel and proceed to steal (edit: Attempted to steal) my phone, keys, sunglasses, and travel wallet. I was about 50 yards away and yelled for him to drop it. Instead he decided it would be a better idea to run.

This was a critical error.

When I caught up to him, I brought down the hammer of Thor and dropped him to the ground while trying to explain to the crowded beach why I just ran down this guy and stole his wallet. I pinned him to the floor and let the lifeguards have him. Justice is manly. Swift justice carried out personally is more manly.

Be competent in all man sports

You don’t want to embarrass yourself on the field or the court. Shoot some hoops, throw a spiral, pitch a strike. Here’s a hint; if you can sprint fast, it will enhance your sport playing ability by 80% without even being better at the sport itself. You don’t want to look like a massive sissy when the guys get together to play football on Thanksgiving.

Be a man and acquire some skills. Girls like guys with skills.

– Max Shank

16 thoughts on “Man Skills: 9 Ways to Elevate Your Manliness

  1. Josh

    Absolute genius! And hilarious, although the not so funny part is I have a good bunch of hard work a head of me to be a man!

  2. Nick M

    I'm almost there Max. I'm working on a few of these and I propose adding "be a bad ass ping pong player"

  3. Steve Freides

    A Real Man reads all the Chuck Norris jokes on the Internet and feels bad for Chuck Norris, even though Chuck Norris doesn't need anyone to feel bad for him, and then goes out and does all the things Chuck Norris can do.

  4. Tony

    The deadlift is more functional in that it’s very hard to imagine a more useful application of strength than picking heavy shit up off the ground. – Rippetoe. Useful AND Manly!

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  8. James L

    How about adding "No Excuses!" to the list. I hear excuses all day as to why something wasn't their fault.

    Great list by the way.

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